Wyrd Woman is an audio drama from Broads and Books Productions. The show is written, performed and produced by Amy Lee Lillard.
Music comes from the Ghosts albums by Nine Inch Nails, courtesy of a Creative Commons license.
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Episode Transcript: Night 5
Intro voiceover:
Wyrd Woman is intended for an adult audience, and discusses mental health, history, and other tough topics. Take care when listening.
Music*:
01 Ghosts I, Nine Inch Nails
Sound:
Record button on Voice Notes
A crackle and feedback noise in the background
Woman:
It’s night number 5 of…whatever this is. We’re nearing the equinox, the official start of Fall.
I feel clear.
I’m not worried about sanity anymore. There’s no such thing. Not really.
Or if there is – I’m not interested in it.
I’m in the bedroom. Sitting up in bed, Major next to me. I’m continuing to record, because like I said, it’s a record now.
Or a map. To where, I don’t know yet.
I don’t need a dream journal anymore. I don’t need to dream, or to sleep, to see them, or talk to them.
I don’t, do I? You’re there aren’t you?
Music: Short clips of each of their themes
Yeah. You’re there.
Music: Old One theme (13 Ghosts II, Nine Inch Nails)
Old One:
I am here, sister.
I wait. For the man. I wait, for his declaration, for the the town’s decision. I wait for them to turn. I wait for them to blame.
I cause their sickness. Poverty. Despair.
I wait for the word: witch.
They’ll cut me, look for Satan. They’ll tear, seek out the wiles and curses. They’ll burn me, hope for God’s favor.
But now, I wait. And I see you, sister. I hear you. I feel all of you.
Woman:
Of course. You’re a witch. You’re inconvenient, and different, and alone, and woman. They have to get rid of you.
Music: Unnatural One theme (36 Ghosts IV, Nine Inch Nails)
Unnatural One:
I am here, sister. I wait for the man to come for his nightly tithe. I wait and I remember my love.
And though I am bowed and made to serve, I know it is not me. It is the world that is wrong. The world that calls me unnatural, and odd, and so many more foul things.
I see you, and I see you, and you, all of you. We are not what the world has made us.
Woman:
Yes. They had to get rid of you too. Otherwise their world would fall. Their world of men and their female property.
Music: Broken One theme (28 Ghosts IV, Nine Inch Nails)
Broken One:
I am here sister. I am animal, and I am alone, and I am here.
I am broken. And I connect to broken things. I see things others do not. I feel what cannot be felt by those who are whole.
I was sent away, then I ran away. Because I may be broken, but I would not be whole.
I would rather see you.
Woman:
They have language for you now. You and the Unnatural One. But that language, those names, they don’t come with safety and acceptance. They still want you sent away. They still think you broken.
You’re not.
I’m not either.
Music: Mad One theme (20 Ghosts III, Nine Inch Nails)
Mad One:
I am here in my cage. Like all nights and days. The symphony of screams. Howls. Cackles. All of us witches. Unnatural things. Broken things. I wait for the night visit.
Caged for difference, for inconvenience. Forced out of the normal world. The regular world. The real world.
Invisible. Out of the spectrum of sight. A ghost.
I feel different energies. I smell different ideas. I taste different elements. I touch time. I hear my sisters.
Woman:
Invisible. That’s what I’ve felt for so long –
Music: Ugly One theme (2 Ghosts I, Nine Inch Nails)
Ugly One:
-and the science is there. Because energy is recycled, never destroyed.
I am here. Waiting for them. Waiting for the cell, the questions, the pain. Waiting for the slice of Siberian cold. Or a bullet to the back of my head.
Torture me in prison for my ideas, my difference. Send me to camp to relearn the right ideas. Send me to work to burn away the fat. Starve and kill the witch.
But yet I exist. I will never not exist.
We slip out of sight into different modes of existence.
We persist, beyond our bodies, beyond time.
We come together into new forms, new bodies.
We have come together in you.
Woman:
You’re –
I am –
We’re all one.
You’re all me, and I’m all you.
Of course.
No wonder I knew – that I had to run, I had to get away, before I was sent away. Before I was burned as a witch, or forced into ownership, or turned animal, or institutionalized, or killed by the state.
I disappeared, so they would not make me disappear.
And that’s when you all found me.
You were with me, and you came out.
You – weirdoes, and witches.
My … tribe. My coven.
Ok, but – but why? Why did you come? Are you trying to help me? Warn me? Are you just trying to commiserate? You see something similar in me and in my time, and you’re just like a shoulder to cry on?
Music: Old One theme (13 Ghosts II, Nine Inch Nails)
Old One:
You must know that I exist.
Music: Unnatural One theme (36 Ghosts IV, Nine Inch Nails)
Unnatural One:
We exist. We’ve always existed. We exist. I exist. Always.
Music: Broken One theme (28 Ghosts IV, Nine Inch Nails)
Broken One:
We are bound by fate, with greater sight.
Music: Mad One theme (20 Ghosts III, Nine Inch Nails)
Mad One:
With the magic of madness inside.
Music: Ugly One theme (2 Ghosts I, Nine Inch Nails)
Ugly One:
We are the women of old, the seers, the knowers. The invisible force behind all things.
Woman:
My head.
There has to be more than that, though, right?
I mean –
I want you here. I’m glad you’re here. I feel less alone. Less – less than. And it’s good to have this vision that others don’t.
But -- shouldn’t there be more?
Shouldn’t we use this connection, this … power? For something?
You’re right. I’ve seen too many movies. Read too many books. Know too much history. There’s no rebel alliance, no spy network that we can form that will fix things. That’s not – I’m sorry, that was –
I just got excited. Feeling you all in me. Knowing your energy is mine, your lives are mine.
I feel powerful. For the first time in… for the first time.
Like a shedding. Leaving a raw husk behind and evolving.
It can be enough to see. To know. It – has to be enough.
I won’t think about the future. I’ll just – think about now.
You’re still there, right?
You’re still with me? And you’ll be with me?
Music: Short clips of each of their themes
Ok.
It’s time to sleep. Rest this head. Filled with all of you. Maybe I’ll get a full night’s sleep tonight.
I don’t know what’s after that.
This changes everything, and nothing. I still have to live in a world where I’m afraid
I’m afraid of above and below. What’s going to happen in the future in a capital city far from here. And what’s going to happen with our oceans, and our skies, and our lands.
I’m afraid of being targeted. For being an Old One, and an Unnatural One, and a Broken One, and a Mad One, and a Ugly One. Because I’m all of those things. I’m all of them. And it’s still dangerous, so very very dangerous, to be all of those things and be a woman.
I’m afraid of –
Music: Future One theme (33 Ghosts IV, Nine Inch Nails)
I’m –
I’m afraid that there’s more to the story. Because I see you. You, you’re new.
I see you. You must be from the future, with your mechanical parts on your face and arms…You are years from now. And I’m the one in the past.
And you … you’re seeing me.
Oh my god. You’re dreaming me.
Hi.
Sound: Record off.
Music: Outro theme (12 Ghosts II, Nine Inch Nails)
Voiceover:
Wyrd Woman is an audio drama from Broads and Books Productions.
The show is written, performed and produced by Amy Lee Lillard.
Music comes from the Ghosts albums by Nine Inch Nails, courtesy of a Creative Commons license.
Find full episode notes, transcripts, and show details at wyrdwomanpodcast.com.
If you like what you hear, tell a weird friend.
Thanks for listening.
* All music comes from the Ghosts albums by Nine Inch Nails, courtesy of the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.
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